A Stolen Childhood – Sandy’s Story
Without a doubt my past has influenced who I am today – not just my past, but my mother’s as well.
My mum was part of the Stolen Generation. She was born in 1937 and adopted by Mrs Flack who wanted to ‘beat the Aboriginality out of her’. Mum had a horrific life with that woman, and later I was to get that same torturous treatment as well. From birth until the age of seven I was a ward of the state in Victoria.
Shortly after my birth I was moved from the Royal Women’s Hospital to Melbourne City Mission. My mum had recently separated from my father and was struggling to bring up my older sister while also working. Back then this was seen as neglect. Until I was seven I moved between Melbourne City Mission in Brunswick, Turana (formerly the Children’s Welfare Department Receiving Depot for Girls and Boys) in Parkville and Mrs Flack’s home in Coburg. Turana was used until the mid-1950s as a place to process children who were coming into the care of the State Government, and for children who were deemed ‘difficult’ to handle. This was the label I was forced to live with for most of my life.
Mrs Flack was a wicked woman.
She used to handcuff me to my chair to watch TV, put soap down my throat during dinner (at the little table my sister and I had to sit at as we weren’t allowed to sit with other family members) and bash my head against the wall until my nose bled. Later I read in my state ward file that Mrs Flack couldn’t retain housekeepers, as they didn’t like the way she treated the children! In all that time, I don’t remember anyone visiting to check if we were okay. I can’t believe we were left to stay with her. Mrs Flack had so much power – I was always scared, and always confused. I didn’t have a sense of myself and I never had any personal agency. I was never allowed to make decisions for myself.
When I was seven, my mum remarried so she got custody of my older sister and myself, but by this stage, the psychological and emotional damage was done. It has been proven that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children taken away from their family and culture will have behavioural problems later in life. Due to this separation there is no sense of self, no connection to family or the recognition of the idiosyncrasies, which are passed down through generations. And there is definitely no sense of belonging.
As a result of my past I now have a passion for the psychological and emotional wellbeing of young children.
I now understand a little of brain development and how trauma affects a child’s development and their behaviour, and how this is carried into adult life. Had my mother not been stolen herself things would have been very different. She would have had a sense of belonging and experienced what family really means in terms of love and unconditional acceptance. I have two children of my own (26 and 24 years of age) and they have never had to experience what I did.
Despite the public outcry in Australia about the Stolen Generation, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children are still being taken away from their families. They are 10 times more likely to be taken away than non-Aboriginal children. Government justifies removal by calling it neglect. My mother didn’t neglect us – she just didn’t have the resources, nor the family support. We were taken under the guise of neglect, which broke my mum’s heart.